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It was a very rich and deeply affirming session. The various modalities included in the coaching session provided layers of support. Beginning the conversation by being heard and identifying needs that I value was a strong conduit  for holding myself and others with care. Recognizing the needs are not in conflict they all exist together and call to be heard/addressed in different ways at different times. Mair's deep understanding and skills are what brought me to reach out in the first place. Her coaching provided comfort and connection- I knew I was heard! I have a deep trust of Mair and her work. I specifically reached out to her for support around a deeply painful relationship issue. Thank you! - P. Taylor

Can't say enough about Mair's commitment, caring and level of presence in assisting others to brush up on their skills in "being with" another i.e., empathy for understanding and connection whether in inner, family, workplace or national politics. There has not been one class ever that ended with me not feeling a profound happiness, calm plus having a practical powerful take-a-way I could use the next week in my relationships. Empathy and connecting more with others continues to transform my life. " With Much Loving &* Light, Paul


Rae: This goes right to the heart of my situation. It's interesting, Mair, but without the empathy I couldn't really face the situation. I needed the slowing down and the eight weeks to really focus in...


Carol: Oh, Mair! You have explained so clearly a concept that has been so convoluted for me. I so appreciate that...There’s been  so much richness in today's session. I thank you both. There are all these little details. I've never heard them be articulated so clearly before and I so appreciate it.

I really appreciated the clarity regarding me using a thought and acting like,  treating it like it's a feeling. But I was sharing thoughts. Kind of like a light bulb going off in me of how I'm probably expressing thoughts 90% of my life and meanwhile there's this starving little girl inside who never learned how to express her needs.

Referring to our call: This is an example of how diamond cut Precision your coaching is and your help and showing us the map (referring to my teaching the “grammar of NVC”).



 It started with an argument, and I tried the I-I.  First it seemed like it wasn't going to work, but Mic got the hang of it, and cooperated in the learning.  What I did was when it was starting to go south with another I-U, I did a switch in roll acting.  I played him, so that he could see that I understood his problems.  In one case I couldn't understand what he was talking about.  He thought I was doing something that was already understood.  It was like digging down deep to get at what he was angry about, and it turned into a misunderstanding. He did finally get the hang of I-I, and it made the evening so much better.  Tension was so high, that I started by holding his hand while giving an “I feel, I need”, then he did both, and then when it got tense, I would switch to being him, so he could see I understood what he felt. And then he knew to cooperate to switch to being me...He thought I was doing something different from what we both understood, no it was an entirely surprising different story, neither of us to blame...When you are married this long, patterns develop.  It was cool changing a pattern, and then the problems melted away. I am not saying I stopped a world war by any means, but thank you!  It was so exciting!  Tomorrow is his birthday.  Perhaps this was a very special gift.  Thank you Mair! -Sally Rodeman


"I want to express my appreciation for all you have taught me and I have been vitalized by knowing how much

my own curiosity and care determine how much I get out of life!"    -Virginia Jardim, MAT, ET/P


Mair’s warmth and expertise supported so much growth for me and the other participants on the phone empathy calls. I particularly enjoyed listening to Mair provide empathy for others - I learned a lot just taking in her mastery and noting the way she engaged with people. I highly recommend this resource! Mary Goyer, Holistic Fertility Specialist, www.aufertility.com



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Having worked and collaborated with Mair for 14 years, I feel blessed and grateful for the mutual learning and consistency I experience in our interactions.  I have grown to trust Mair's ability to support the group sessions by tracking where we are, guiding the conversation with suggestions and points of learning and consistently checking with the group for inclusion and informed decisions.  I believe Mair creates a level of safety and trust so that participants are eager to step up and practice applying the tools of empathy and seem to welcome the feedback, seeing it as an invitation to add another tool to their tool box.
Carol Chase, CNVC Certified Trainer 
                             What people are saying about being with Mair (in person or by phone):


"As a newbie to NVC, I was dazzled by the role-play Mair did with another person on my first call. I felt the tension as Mair's partner played the role of the partner's teenage son, asking Mair pointed and hostile questions.  And then I felt the relief as Mair gently used NVC to transform a potential confrontation into an opportunity for understanding.  I feel like learning this will help me go deeper and have more fun in my relationships." -Kevin Bennett


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" I want to express my appreciation for all you have taught me and I have been vitalized by knowing how much

my own curiosity and care determine how much I get out of life!"

Virginia Jardim, MAT, ET/P


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"I participated in 6 calls with Mair and a group of NVC enthusiasts through the month of January. I found myself nervous as I was new to the teleconference format and to NVC. However, within a couple of calls I felt at ease. My heart was opened by the honest sharing of participants and the deep listening and curiosity Mair brought to each session and person. Over these several weeks, I have come to feel more alive and celebratory toward myself and others. I've opened to new truths and wisdom within myself. The support of others also sharing their truth and honoring my own, has left me feeling inspired, enlivened and hopeful! Thank-you Mair for guiding this process with such ease and integrity. And thank-you to all the participants who offered their companionship and acceptance!" with warmth, -Gwen Gingerich


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" I love Mair's model of making it easy and low cost and low risk to participate in learning via MaestroConference. I was on the January calls for "practicing empathic presence with the Three Modes of NVC," and I learned  and experimented and made a few nice changes in my world. "- Helen Jones, February 2015"


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"My experience on these calls is to expect the unexpected - it happens and I'm enlivened and enriched. What an empathy bargain!" - Lanna Seuret


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Through our “Transforming Communication” sessions with Mair Alight, I learned new patterns of communication that helped me have a harmonious relationship with my husband.  My husband and I have more mutual respect for each other’s needs and wants, and respect for ourselves as individuals.  I was very satisfied with Mair’s skillful consulting.  Now I can choose a more joyous way of being. -Margaret E. Anderson


Here are some of the gifts that I received from my “Transforming Communication” sessions with Mair:


 To have a daily attunement with Margaret, my wife, which enables me to harmonize with her 


 To periodically check in with myself to be more consciously aware of my thoughts and feelings


 To be a more effective listener by feeding back to Margaret, what she said, to confirm that I understood her communication


 To say our secret word, so we can call time out, when our discussion starts to get too heated


 To understand and focus on Margaret’s needs and values


 To work much more effectively with Margaret, as an incredible team


 To try not to be right all the time and try not to compete with Margaret


 To be in the now and celebrate life each day


 To read “What Color Is Your Parachute – For Retirement”, so Margaret and I can define our La Dolce Vita together


-Jeremiah W. Anderson


Fellow Colleagues:


Carol Chase, CNVC Certified Trainer Having worked and collaborated with Mair for 14 years, I feel blessed and grateful for the mutual learning and consistency I experience in our interactions.  I have grown to trust Mair's ability to support the group sessions by tracking where we are, guiding the conversation with suggestions and points of learning and consistently checking with the group for inclusion and informed decisions.  I believe Mair creates a level of safety and trust so that participants are eager to step up and practice applying the tools of empathy and to welcome the feedback, seeing it as an invitation to add another tool to their tool box.

Miki Kashtan: " I have known Mair since 2002, when she attended the BayNVC Leadership Program. I appreciate, in particular, her deep passion for meaning, her dedication to authenticity and full human connection, and her humor and courage in responding to challenges. I trust her understanding of NVC and her continued immersion in learning and clarifying concepts and processes. I am impressed by what I see as her ability to see and reach human beings across a wide range of demographics and experiences and offer meaningful healing and learning to others." - Miki Kashtan, Lead Trainer, Strategic Vision, Bay Area Nonviolent Communication (BayNVC) www.BayNVC.org

Ike Lasater: "I’ve known Mair for a decade as a friend, colleague and as a participant in some of my NVC Mediation workshops. I very much enjoy how she shows up in the world with humor, care and clarity. I like the way Mair relates to herself, and to me and others. I without reservation recommend that you work with her at every opportunity." – Ike Lasater, www.NVCMediation.com


Kate Raffin: I So LOVED the session you led today - LOVED it from the very beginning to the end. Rich, deep , simple and … inspiring.

I love the way you heard the question to talk "about " what we were doing as a "request".

LOVED it - have been caught in my mind and heart since Wednesday eve's practice group that I led about what happens in the room and the servant I become to all OTHER needs and YOUR example was pure "hearin' it " - the request !!!! As …. A request !! - Kate Raffin



Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD, author of Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life, is, according to Oprah Winfrey,

one of seven men transforming the world


Marshall is also my honored and beloved teacher, who wrote the following:

"Mair Alight is one of sixty individuals from twenty-five countries selected by the Center for Nonviolent Communication to attend a Special Session on Social Change in July 2005 in Switzerland. The purpose of the session was to further the vision we have to create a world where all people are getting their needs met and resolving their conflicts peacefully. Mair Alight is committed to the vision of creating and participating in building worldwide networks of life-serving systems including, but not limited to education, economics, justice, health care, peace keeeping. It is my hope that you will support her in her efforts towards implementing social change." Warmly, Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D, Founder and Director of Educational Services, The Center for Nonviolent Communication (www.cnvc.org) July, 2005




                                                                               

Past Participants:


Donna G.: I participated in the NeedsBE 8 week teleseries and am celebrating the practice, the learning and personal growth that I received. Our group became a community quickly and there was an universal sharing of trust and support. We supported each other while giving and receiving empathy. The level of experience from our community varied from beginner to advanced. We had opportunity to receive constructive feedback, which was invaluable. On-the-spot coaching was led by Mair and members of the community. The Facebook page allowed for continual sharing and learning; it also was the go-to place for recordings - all calls were recorded which allowed us the chance for study through playback and the opportunity to catch-up on any calls missed. I look forward to joining this community again!


Paul Michael: To my surprise my need for a big leap was met. There wasn’t a class where I didn’t takeaway something golden. At the end of the last of the eight classes, I had a powerful awareness: That my co

nsciousness changed. I was different. A good different. A kinder person. A way better listener (I'm still smiling from this. THIS is what I so wanted and got).

Mair role-modeled and facilitated in a way that met my needs for: Learning, Connection, Love, Inclusiveness, Integrity, Creativity, Authenticity, Ease, Simplicity (and there are more).

I feel touched that Mair always treated everyone (both first time NVC'ers and old students alike) as equals. This met my need for Love. And for Inclusiveness. I love seeing living examples of "everyone matters".

Also, I love that Mair was always (well, nothing is 100% but she was darn close) 'available' to go with the flow (and she did). Even though there was a useful plan, when something more alive showed up, she was on it. She spotted it. She was right now and went with it. I love this because it kept the class up and dynamic; it met my need for LIFE itself.

- Paul Michael (participant in First NeedsBEmpathy Teleseries)


Lisa Kang: I have been attending Mair's weekly practice groups and monthly phone calls since July of 2013. The experience has changed my life. Participating in role plays and observing others has helped me learn the skills I needed to use Non-violent communication in my relationships. Mair taught the skills and explained the ideas behind them. She coached us and gave me the opportunities to practice. She often speaks of the freedom that comes from NVC, helping me identify that I can unconsciously act from my conditioning, or consciously choose new ways of relating. With the freedom that I experience, my relationships now have new meaning for me. I see that I can have empathy for myself, as well as have

empathy for others. I see that I matter, and I have greater hope for others to see that they matter, and that they too have freedom to make new choices.

RD: Sept 2014 : I'm so grateful for NVC. It has given me courage and allowed me to create a space within myself so I know where I am; I'm in touch with my feelings and needs. That is so liberating for me; before I couldn't modulate. I'm  still learning to express myself compassionately. I'm moving forward feeling truly pleasurable because now I feel I can take anything in compassionately.


Luccia: I have been involved in a Wisdom Meditation Circle call for over a year now that has REALLY contributed to my sense of health and well being on all levels. This is a Thursday morning teleconference call 7-8 AM Pacific Time, for the month of December, facilitated by Mair Alight, Certified NVC trainer (a real light in my life ), where we commune in silence for 5 minutes, then have the option to speak about what came up in that 5 minutes, then we have another 5 minutes of silence, and so on, for one hour. We go DEEP as a group. It gives me a sense of COMMUNITY, HEART CONNECTION, ENERGETIC SENSE OF PRESENCE, AND A SAFE, SACRED CONTAINER TO BE WITH EVERYTHING THAT COMES UP. Deep wisdom emerges, peace, ease, and clarity is often the result. I would love to have you join this sacred circle. - Luccia